popeye works ahrd at stuff

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2007-12-14T12:14:00.000-06:00

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Interesting with a capital "eye"

2007-11-09T15:15:00.000-06:00

I realize I haven't psoted all week, but as you see Spivey's boss has sent me a little corespondent. Here is that he said:

Backers,

Since I can't get ahold of Spivey, please pass on this information. I have a new important project for the both of you. The case file is labeled "The Taffy Account." It's much too much work for one man, which is why I'm giving it to both of you. In fact, it's much too much for two men. But I know that you can do the work of at least three or four men, Backers. I've
never seen you leave the building, so the hours you put in must be tremendous. I tip my hat to you. Good luck on the Taffy account, Backers. Give my regards to Spivey and tell him to keep up the good work.

BILLINGS

--------------------

The only problem I have is this: Spivey is in Barbados. That is to say that hes in the west wing of the buildig. By that I mean he wendt on a hiatus which inshort means vacation. So I (and by "eye" I mean Backers) have ben workin on the sillly taffy project porposed by mr "Billings" by meself. but never fear. I got to the hart of the matter and watched tv at my desk for 61 straight hours. If the boss wants a prooject he'll have to come in here and pry the remote out of my cold dead hand (because the remote is stuck to my hand with his precious taffy).

that'll teach him. enjoy you vacation spivey. enjoy the pomgranites i sent you.

Nothing bothers Backers.

2007-11-04T15:27:00.000-06:00

To: Spivey
From: Billings
Subject: Re: QUESTION

SPIVEY. I want you to put down the reports. I know they are due today by 5 p.m. and you're probably about three days behind, but I want you to report to Alexander Oneline. I've hired him back on. He is now my right-hand man. Actually, I'm left-handed, so it doesn't do him much good at my right hand. There are never any pencils over there or anything. Please meet up with Oneline and get on this electronic codename business so I can send you electronic messages. I consider Oneline one of our top employees. You could learn a thing or two from him. He even has an Internet Page. Maybe he can teach you how to make one. Not that I want you making Internet Pages, Spivey. That would be grounds for dismissal. Confidentiality and all.

----------

Well it seems that Mr. b is really misled in terms of wat he wnats to do with this company. he has Parentally hired oneline to take my Place as his rite hand man. Hmm. This situation will teake a littel work to resolve, but thats why I've changed my name to Backers. You see, these kinds of things wood have bothered spivey in the past. Not backers. he's not botherd by all that much -- he takes things in stride and things usully go his way. 4 INstance, i got blingins to stop buggin me aobut all those rpeorts, didn' I? Spivey couldn't have done that. Only Backers. So sit back and enjoy the greatness of backers in weeks to come.

Bad News

2007-11-02T15:12:00.000-05:00

To: Spivey
From: Billings
Subject: GOOD NEWS

Good news, Spivey. Now that that slackabout Alexander Oneline is gone, you'll be getting all his case files. This shouldn't load up your shoulders too heavy with work. But feel free to come in on weekends from now on to keep your head above water. We can't afford to get behind with our accounts. Especially now that Oneline is gone. You might want to think about getting rid of your lunch break altogether as well. I heard a rumor that the Congress is going to lower the minimum wage. That way we'll be able to cut our spending without expending any more staff. Don't worry. This won't affect you. But don't tell Bartelly or Doc.

MR: BILLINGS

-------------------

So I got this e-mail from bilings and i have been workin every since I got it. I came in on Tuesday bcause I took Monday off to look at ta new job in food secutirys. Then I come bakc to my desk to this rude awakening. Wednesay is even Edward Sciicssor Hands day where I tape scissorts to my hands and walk around my office cuttig up documents. unimportant ones I forgot to say. I mean I got the raise and all but then 85 per% went into the fund for a new paintig we got down in the loobby. Then the paiting got stolen and was in mr. billings office the next day. then the painting was replace by a picture of billings with Tom Selleck and I saw the paiting that all my salaray goes toward sitting in the dupmster behind the building. Why? I ask. So anyway the bad news is this website will suffer and Mr. BIllings will regret giving me meore work - so much in fact that i stay here overnights now and sleep in the bed in Rex's office. But what it all boils down to is that I won't have time to update and so no one will know whwat is going on in mr. billings company. So well see who has the last laugh. Me or Oneline.

I know it will be me. Fact, I just started laughing and it probably won't stop until there's no more laughing in the background. By that I mean when those kids get away from my window so I can put my pants back on.

H & O.

So LOng alex

2007-10-28T12:39:00.000-05:00

Greetings Spivey.

I got a e-mail todya from sir mr Billings about a resent incident in my offise.

SPIVEY,

This morning I talked to MASE BACON, our very important client. I don't have to tell you who this is. He tells me he saw you in your office up to tomfoolery, chicanery, nonsense, monkeyshines, shinanigens, and three counts of skylarking.

I will have no more jocularity in my office workspace. It makes our company look bad and lazy. At our last project update meeting, Alexander Oneline said he had 17 projects he was working on and you had one. Two, if you count that time you opened the door for me.

That said: about that raise you asked for, I'm giving it to you. I can't afford to lose you to JANS PANTS, INC or some other "profitable" company. You've done good work so far. Keep it up. Just not the hijinks and junketing.

MR BILLING

S

turns out mase bacon saw My secrety screwing around in my office and mr bacen thought it was me. Here is how i have to cover for my cercretary every day. I hope he appreicieants it:

I can explain sir. I now that you moved me off the bacon account to work on more impotrant stuff and i wanted To be sure that Mr Bacon saw me in my office having a workin lunch with sum of our clients. I belive what he saw was me working on accounts from Tom Flattery and Jon Sense from Monkey Shines Car Wash, down the sreet from Shenanigans. They drove a Skylark to Psyclone INdustrys this morning and we enjoyed a bucket of Fried chicanery while we wurked dilgently.

I can see how I would misunderstand what mr Bacon was talking about. This is all a misunderstating. So as you can see the raise which I think is nice should be slightly more baecause of my recent hard work. I appriciate your understatment of this issue.

As far as Alex ONeline is conserned, he and I have theverything figured out. He no long3er works for the company effective emmediately. I will pass on the massage that he is fired.

Thanks and happy selling

Spivey

Petty clever huh. well at leats i have a reaise and alex oneline no longer works here. that will help me avoid his stupidnees.

more later. Spivey out.

I may soon work somewhere else

2007-10-27T12:17:00.000-05:00

I have been so durn busy workin on the company site that I haven't hardly had no time to upday my personal boog (thats thechy talk for all you lay mans). I guess the big news is (as most of you here at the company now by know), i have expected a new job at Constructy construction. Its a small business here in town that makes consturuction paper. You know that colored stuff you cut up in kinergarden. I have ben hiredto help make recicled papers into pads for kids. My new position is called voluunter. It means i do things ifor kids that need it. it is very werarding and between youand me and the firewall i am thikning about maygbe getting on full imte there. You now what theat means yep, quitting this job. But also betwixt me and you and the firewall and not Mr. B, Im not actually workin no voluneter job. Tha place doesn't pay for crap, i'm just trying to scare billings and see if hell raise me.

This guy is werd

2007-04-21T11:06:00.000-05:00

Okay friends. Another e-mail from Mr. Billings that I don't really understand. Since you guys are always so good at helping me figure these out, I thought I'd come to you again...

Spivey,

I need your advice on an important matter. Mace Bacon is on my back because Buttchecker is behind on the paperwork for the account. Bacon is demanding a refund of what they've paid us for the past four months.

So what should I do? Should I just tell him no, or should I have you tell him no? Just because Boxelder can't do his paper work, that doesn't mean I should be running around throwing money out the window.

Oh, and check on the wiper fluid for my computer monitor. It think it's low.

Mr. Billings

the BOss is back!

2007-03-22T14:08:00.000-05:00

Mr. B wrote me an e-mial of vast proportions. By that I mean he is going on a trip. I think.

I wood like To thank the acadamy...

2007-03-10T18:08:00.000-06:00

I'm sure you all have heard the news about me earning the Cyclone Industries 2005 Miss Your Food Security Award by now. The photo at the right was taken after the ceremony. See Mr. Billings looking at me? He's wishing he had more your food security right about now.

To tell you the truth, I'm a little surprised I won it myself. I didn't really work that hard for it, but I think Mr. B. did. He seemed sad after the cremeony. Passed up all the napkins at the buffet table and sat in the corner of the room carving "Injustice" into the window sill. I guess he's kind of upset because it came down to just me and him (you can see him in the photo looking lustfully at my sash immediately following my coronation). Oh well. He won it the last two years, AND he won 2002 Miss Stairwell Railing Slider. I guess they just wanted someone new to get some recognition.

IM confused

2007-03-06T12:39:00.000-06:00

Good morning. Spivey here. I checked my electric mail when I got to work and there was a message from Mr. B. Here's what it said, I'm not sure I understand it.

Spivey, I want you to tape "Return to the Batcave" on CBS for me. I want to use it in a sales meeting next week. And check on those pencil shavings stuck in my keyboard. They're making it difficult for me to type a...well, i can't show it to you because i can't type it. The letter between h and k on the keyboard. And without that letter, I can't shoot asteroids. I mean... I can't type "_ust dandy" on my reports to show they're finished.

hall and oates.

If anyone understands, please e-mail me at cycloneindustries@yahoo.com. I really don't feel like going down the flight of stairs to his office. Whenever I go down there I hear him singing Survivor songs to the tune of his modem dialing up. It kind of bugs me. And, the whole stairs thing hurts my efficiency (feet). I'll be responding to guestbook posts later. Good day.

Spiverspace

2007-03-05T18:23:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody. I finally got done adding a new feature onto the netpage that Mr. Billings wanted me to make. It is the Mr. Spivey Internetcam and soon every employee will have one in their office. I guess he just wanted to try it out on me because I'm conjeannieal. Check it out! I'm going home. Good day.

Thru glued times and BAD

2007-03-05T15:26:00.000-06:00

Good morning everyone, this is Spivey. I missed work yesterday because I had to go to the doctor to remove super glue from my hair. He told me to go to a barber. I went to a barber, but I wouldn't recommend doing that if you are in the same situation. They don't give you any annasaidack for the surgery. It's kind of embarrassing to say that I had glue in my hair, since I was only trying to glue my forehead to my monitor, not my hair. I guess that's just carelessness on my part. It's like Mr. Billings is always saying, "You need a good glue to keep well you know the rest." Anyway, I'm back at work. I have to meet with a client soon so I'm going to get some coffee. But keep the e-mails pouring in for suggestions about what to do with the site. I'll be back to work on the website later today unless I see that bird outside again.

fINALLY!

2007-02-07T16:12:00.000-06:00

4 the first time in me life I think MR billings dog says hi to me. But then it tunred out to not be a dog afterall, it was a mound of TACos that MR B ha d specially made to fit in a doghousE. I don’t understand mr bilings, he alwyays says the’s going on a SABBATICA, but he never leafs the office. S-times he is their and then I nock on his dooor and say mr bi! Back from your sabba, eh? That’s when mr. b says not to bug his sab. Parenlty, Mr. B’s battico gets extended wheniver I talk to HIM. So anyhow s, he sasy to me theother seday in a e-=mail that he now is back from saaab. Tis is where it iz.

Back and Better thenever

2007-01-09T15:53:00.000-06:00

So yeah, it's true. I got fired for a few days. Well, from May of last Year until last Wensday to be exact. Real funny joke Mr. Blingllings. I guess he was joking around because he showed up at my desk and said "OK Spivey, it's time to hire you again." I said, "I didn't know I was fried." He said, "Yeah, I fired you from last May until last nighth." I said, "you can do that?" He said, "I'm the boss." I said, "Well, Your'e the boss." We both had a good laugh at that one and the good news is, I am getting paid again.

I think I might have been fired for something that Doc and Watergage did. You see, Mr. B told Doc one day that he and Watergate needed to fixs the pipes that were rattling above the ceiling. So Doc and Watergage were up there above the ceiling and they broke the pipes and watergate fell and broke his leg. So they blamed it on me.

The next day Mr. B came and saw the cast on my leg and said that Watergate and Doc told him I insissted on fixing the Pipes myself and I was the one that was hanging on the pipes and broke them. Then Mr. Be said that he never even thought the pipes were rattling in the first place and he never told anyone to fix them. So he fired me because he didn't believe me. But I can't stay mad at him because you know, who really believes someone with a cast on their leg anyway?

But some people were happy about all the Water we got in the production room. Pinky Cunningham said "Spivey, becuase of you I had to put a roof on my cubicle." Alex Oneline said the same thing. So people are happy with the pipes being broken I gues. Except Rex. Every time I walk past his cube he barks and chases me. He's a jerk. So this morning I came in early and played a joke on him.

Test

2007-01-03T22:56:00.000-06:00

Hello. Spivey here. I got this thing from Mr. Billings that said I need to make a web page for Psyclone Industries. When I asked him what that was he started singing "The Locomotion." So here I am, fifteen hours later, still in the office and this is what I have so far. I found this thing called "The Internet" to help me along. There is a lot of stuff there that might help me do my job better. I'll have to tell Mr. Billings about it tomorrow. I went by his office a little bit ago to tell him and he was sleeping so I'll tell him tomorrow. Anyway, soon this page will have lots of stuff courtesy of webmaster Spivey. If you have any suggestions for stuff to put on this web site, e-mail me. That's all for today. I'll update as soon as I unglue my face from the monitor.