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Interesting with a capital "eye"

I realize I haven't psoted all week, but as you see Spivey's boss has sent me a little corespondent. Here is that he said:

Backers,

Since I can't get ahold of Spivey, please pass on this information. I have a new important project for the both of you. The case file is labeled "The Taffy Account." It's much too much work for one man, which is why I'm giving it to both of you. In fact, it's much too much for two men. But I know that you can do the work of at least three or four men, Backers. I've
never seen you leave the building, so the hours you put in must be tremendous. I tip my hat to you. Good luck on the Taffy account, Backers. Give my regards to Spivey and tell him to keep up the good work.

BILLINGS

--------------------

The only problem I have is this: Spivey is in Barbados. That is to say that hes in the west wing of the buildig. By that I mean he wendt on a hiatus which inshort means vacation. So I (and by "eye" I mean Backers) have ben workin on the sillly taffy project porposed by mr "Billings" by meself. but never fear. I got to the hart of the matter and watched tv at my desk for 61 straight hours. If the boss wants a prooject he'll have to come in here and pry the remote out of my cold dead hand (because the remote is stuck to my hand with his precious taffy).

that'll teach him. enjoy you vacation spivey. enjoy the pomgranites i sent you.

Nothing bothers Backers.

To: Spivey
From: Billings
Subject: Re: QUESTION

SPIVEY. I want you to put down the reports. I know they are due today by 5 p.m. and you're probably about three days behind, but I want you to report to Alexander Oneline. I've hired him back on. He is now my right-hand man. Actually, I'm left-handed, so it doesn't do him much good at my right hand. There are never any pencils over there or anything. Please meet up with Oneline and get on this electronic codename business so I can send you electronic messages. I consider Oneline one of our top employees. You could learn a thing or two from him. He even has an Internet Page. Maybe he can teach you how to make one. Not that I want you making Internet Pages, Spivey. That would be grounds for dismissal. Confidentiality and all.

----------

Well it seems that Mr. b is really misled in terms of wat he wnats to do with this company. he has Parentally hired oneline to take my Place as his rite hand man. Hmm. This situation will teake a littel work to resolve, but thats why I've changed my name to Backers. You see, these kinds of things wood have bothered spivey in the past. Not backers. he's not botherd by all that much -- he takes things in stride and things usully go his way. 4 INstance, i got blingins to stop buggin me aobut all those rpeorts, didn' I? Spivey couldn't have done that. Only Backers. So sit back and enjoy the greatness of backers in weeks to come.

Bad News

To: Spivey
From: Billings
Subject: GOOD NEWS

Good news, Spivey. Now that that slackabout Alexander Oneline is gone, you'll be getting all his case files. This shouldn't load up your shoulders too heavy with work. But feel free to come in on weekends from now on to keep your head above water. We can't afford to get behind with our accounts. Especially now that Oneline is gone. You might want to think about getting rid of your lunch break altogether as well. I heard a rumor that the Congress is going to lower the minimum wage. That way we'll be able to cut our spending without expending any more staff. Don't worry. This won't affect you. But don't tell Bartelly or Doc.

MR: BILLINGS

-------------------

So I got this e-mail from bilings and i have been workin every since I got it. I came in on Tuesday bcause I took Monday off to look at ta new job in food secutirys. Then I come bakc to my desk to this rude awakening. Wednesay is even Edward Sciicssor Hands day where I tape scissorts to my hands and walk around my office cuttig up documents. unimportant ones I forgot to say. I mean I got the raise and all but then 85 per% went into the fund for a new paintig we got down in the loobby. Then the paiting got stolen and was in mr. billings office the next day. then the painting was replace by a picture of billings with Tom Selleck and I saw the paiting that all my salaray goes toward sitting in the dupmster behind the building. Why? I ask. So anyway the bad news is this website will suffer and Mr. BIllings will regret giving me meore work - so much in fact that i stay here overnights now and sleep in the bed in Rex's office. But what it all boils down to is that I won't have time to update and so no one will know whwat is going on in mr. billings company. So well see who has the last laugh. Me or Oneline.

I know it will be me. Fact, I just started laughing and it probably won't stop until there's no more laughing in the background. By that I mean when those kids get away from my window so I can put my pants back on.

H & O.

So LOng alex

Greetings Spivey.

I got a e-mail todya from sir mr Billings about a resent incident in my offise.

SPIVEY,

This morning I talked to MASE BACON, our very important client. I don't have to tell you who this is. He tells me he saw you in your office up to tomfoolery, chicanery, nonsense, monkeyshines, shinanigens, and three counts of skylarking.

I will have no more jocularity in my office workspace. It makes our company look bad and lazy. At our last project update meeting, Alexander Oneline said he had 17 projects he was working on and you had one. Two, if you count that time you opened the door for me.

That said: about that raise you asked for, I'm giving it to you. I can't afford to lose you to JANS PANTS, INC or some other "profitable" company. You've done good work so far. Keep it up. Just not the hijinks and junketing.

MR BILLING


S

turns out mase bacon saw My secrety screwing around in my office and mr bacen thought it was me. Here is how i have to cover for my cercretary every day. I hope he appreicieants it:

I can explain sir. I now that you moved me off the bacon account to work on more impotrant stuff and i wanted To be sure that Mr Bacon saw me in my office having a workin lunch with sum of our clients. I belive what he saw was me working on accounts from Tom Flattery and Jon Sense from Monkey Shines Car Wash, down the sreet from Shenanigans. They drove a Skylark to Psyclone INdustrys this morning and we enjoyed a bucket of Fried chicanery while we wurked dilgently.

I can see how I would misunderstand what mr Bacon was talking about. This is all a misunderstating. So as you can see the raise which I think is nice should be slightly more baecause of my recent hard work. I appriciate your understatment of this issue.

As far as Alex ONeline is conserned, he and I have theverything figured out. He no long3er works for the company effective emmediately. I will pass on the massage that he is fired.

Thanks and happy selling

Spivey

Petty clever huh. well at leats i have a reaise and alex oneline no longer works here. that will help me avoid his stupidnees.

more later. Spivey out.